What’s It All About?

Welcome to DomesticProduct.net – a new blog exploring the evolving dynamics of women’s work, at home and outside it, just in time for Labor Day!

Tension over what properly constitutes women’s work is the crux of much of our current public discourse. That tension feeds the babble about baby bumps that fills the celebrity magazines, lies at the root of our fair pay disputes, and of our struggles over access to abortion and birth control. The 2008 election operated in part as a labor debate over what kinds of jobs women are allowed to hold (president or clothes presser, in one formulation). The endless stories on fertility, birth timing and Mommy Wars play into the debate as well.

Ever since the advent of hormonal birth control in 1960, the social fabric woven over millennia around the assumption that women were baby machines has been undergoing quick redesign throughout the world. And stirring plenty of controversy. (see Never Done and Under Paid for more on this)

It’s taken a while, but gradually women are trickling up into policy-making positions in business and government. Once there, they’re beginning to change the rules—and to move us toward a culture of care that recognizes the importance of supporting families—incubators of that most domestic of products, our citizens—at the same time that we develop work systems that allow women to contribute fully to the Gross Domestic Product in the workplace. (see Remember Mama for more on building a culture of care). But there’s far to go yet, and it’s a long process!

I’ll be posting my thoughts on some of the many sides of this big and ongoing cultural shift, along with links to related stories. Your thoughts and stories welcome!

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Le Donne Son Mobili

Mobili, as in mobilizing–a poor attempt at a translingual pun (should be “si stanno mobilizzando” says my Italian friend, not “mobili” as in the line from Rigoletto). But if the pun is bad, the move is good–for Italy.

Today’s Times boasts an op-ed by Chiara Volpato on some Italian women’s response to Italian leader Silvio Berlusconi’s sexist treatment of one half of his citizenry:
Italian Women Rise Up

Pointing to big gender inequalities at home and in the workplace, very different from situations in other European countries, Volpato goes on to note that:

“The Italian media only exacerbate this bleak reality by presenting a picture of women that is incomprehensible to the rest of Europe. Private TV channels have started to broadcast images of women who are typically lightly dressed and silent beauties serving as decoration while older, fully dressed men are running the show. (It is worth noting here that Mr. Berlusconi owns the leading private television networks.)

“The impact of years of brainwashing is plain to see: recent research demonstrated that the most popular ambition among female teenagers is to become a velina (basically a showgirl). Young women and girls are consistently taught that their bodies, rather than their abilities and their knowledge, are the key to success. At the same time, the sexism portrayed on TV reinforces chauvinistic ideas among the culturally weakest parts of the population. Researchers who study female body objectification need only look to Italy to witness the sad consequences of this phenomenon.”

But women are increasingly fed up with this treatment, and are moving to change it. Bravissime!

(Volpato links the bad treatment women face in Italy to the low birthrate there, a connection made in earlier work, including a June article in the Times Magazine by Russell Shorto, called No Babies?)

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Sister Suffragette

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Today is Women’s Equality Day – 89 years and counting since the passage of the Women’s Suffrage Amendment to the Constitution on August 26, 1920, allowing women to vote in the United States. A day to celebrate, and to take stock of what’s left to be done to get us to full equality, in the US and around the world.

Happily, while there’s plenty of work remaining, lots of people are moving on it. And talking about it. This week, Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn have published a new book (Half the Sky) advocating action in defense of women’s rights on a global scale, and the NY Times Magazine devoted its pages this past week to the cause (Special Issue).

The National Organization for Women launched a new blog today – called “Say It, Sister,” featuring discussion of feminist issues and calls to action.

Of course, saying don’t make it so, not on its own, and the next big steps for women could connect to direct action through legislation – starting with the Healthy Families Act (paid sick days) as well as both the Paycheck Fairness Act and the Fair Pay Act (anti-job-and-pay-discrimination).

Can we make it to 50/50 by 2020, the 100th anniversary of WED and the suffrage amendment? Only if we keep pushing for change – and speaking out. Whether or not we hold up half the sky, we are more than half the population–could get pretty noisy!

From the archive: Never Done and Under Paid

Suffrage History: August 26, 1920, and the Nineteenth Amendment

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Happy Belated Daddy Day (in Advance)

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We hear often about later moms these days, but less about the new later dads who’ve walked hand and hand with those moms into the modern world of birth timing. While it’s always been possible for men to have kids later than women (Sarah was the miracle, not Abraham, when Isaac arrived), the Tony Randalls of this world (new dad at 77) have always been a small contingent.

Like most women, most men tend to have their kids in their 20s and early 30s, though increasing numbers start their families in their late 30s to mid 40s (birthrates to men and women increased in all age ranges between 15 and 45 in the latest data). Though 80% of couples who marry in their 20s have a male partner older than the female partner, and it’s not exactly rare to see couples with men a decade or more older, most couples are still within a few years of one another in age (just 60% of couples who marry in their mid to late 30s and over have an older man – much closer to the 50/50 split that would occur if cultural pressure for an older man didn’t operate at all).

When birth control gave women the capacity to delay kids until they felt ready for them, whenever that might be, men began delaying at a similar rate, for similar reasons. The new later dads of our moment differ from the later dads of yore in that their wives are their peers – not just close in age, but often with similar educations, job histories and earnings (Ben Affleck [36] and Jennifer Garner [37] are one example among millions).

This completely changes the marriage dynamic and has been directly responsible for men’s increased involvement in the lives of their kids. If both parents are educated and earning, the logic of separate spheres evaporates. If they’re both working outside the home, it only makes sense that they’d share the care work as well. What started within individual marriages has quickly become a culture-wide phenomenon, among parents of all ages.

As men have become more involved in the lives of their kids, they’ve come to love being there – even as they understand in new ways the time and effort involved in home work. So dads and moms together are forging the movement to innovate new work rules that will allow both members of a parenting couple to be active participants in their families’ lives while pursuing fulfilling and decently paid careers ( Families and Work Institute ).

While we’re wishing Happy Daddy Day this weekend to all the loving dads, let’s take a minute to appreciate how much more involved in the lives of their kids dads are today than when the first father’s day was celebrated 101 years ago , and how interconnected are the changing dynamics of dads’ and moms’ roles inside and outside the home.

This piece also appeared on the Huffington Post.

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Midlife Mamas: It’s Worth the Wait

Here’s a link to a story by Karen West published in Seattle Woman Magazine in May.

The media stories on later motherhood focus most on infertility — but 1 in every 7 US babies is born to a mom 35+ and the average age at first birth for college grads is 30.

This article breaks the media pattern by looking at both pros and cons of delay –the reporter cites my work but also did a lot of interviewing on her own.

Birth timing, women’s work and the status of women as policy shapers all entwine. There’s no one right way — but we badly need a straightforward discussion of what’s at stake.

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